Thank you so much for joining us on this next stop in the Testimony Tour! In case you missed it, please check out my amazing sister and fellow blogger, Valerie, over at Cord of 6 to read her beautiful testimony about how Jesus loved her and sought her out! It’s an amazing story of His love and grace in her life!
My Testimony: The Surrendering of A Life…Over and Over Again!
I want to preface this post by saying that I have always struggled with sharing my testimony.
For a long time, I believed that the story of my journey to Christ was not exciting enough to be worth telling. I believed the lie that God wouldn’t be as glorified through His work in my life as He would through someone else who had a more extravagant story. But ultimately, the work of salvation in a life automatically brings glory to God. So, as I share my testimony with you today, I pray that God is glorified and you are encouraged in your walk with Christ.
I grew up in a wonderful Christian home.
Going to church was always a part of life for me. We were there faithfully on Sunday mornings as well as Thursday nights for bible study, and sometimes even on Saturdays for other activities. I can’t remember a time when God was not a part of our day to day lives. I grew up singing songs like Jesus Loves Me, praying before meals and memorizing bible verses before I could read.
From a young age, I remember being aware of my need for Jesus. I knew that I did bad things, and had been taught that I needed to go to Him for forgiveness. Around the age of 5, I remember kneeling beside my bed after church one day and asking Jesus to come into my heart. I sincerely believe that I was saved at that time; I knew that I was a sinner and knew that I needed Jesus to save me. But it wasn’t until I was older that I truly started to grasp the depth and intensity of His love for me.
As I grew older, I began to take my faith more seriously. The more I understood about the love, grace, and mercy of God, the more I wanted to live for Him. I am naturally a very driven person. I tend to work hard to get what I want in life. It is the way that I’m wired. Throughout my journey with Christ, He has slowly had to etch away at this need to strive in order to increase my ability to rely on Him and Him alone. I cannot count the number of times that the Lord has had to bring me to the end of myself, where I just can’t do anymore so that I am forced to depend on Him.
This is the big picture of it all.
My salvation is not dependent at all on what I have done. It is completely dependent on what Christ has done for me. No amount of striving or trying would have gotten me into heaven. It is only by the mercy and grace of Christ that I have been redeemed and set free from my sin.
I specifically remember being twelve or thirteen years old. It felt as though I was struggling constantly with pressures at school to fit in. I was striving, trying so hard to please God with my life, but also to find acceptance from my peers. It was exhausting. For months, I kept up the facade until one day, I just broke. It felt like everything was falling apart. I couldn’t be real with God, nor could I be real with my friends. It was impossible to live the double life I was trying to live. I remember shutting my room door and kneeling on the floor beside my window. Crying, I spoke to the Lord, telling Him that I was done. I couldn’t keep on living the way I was. I needed His power and strength, or else I wouldn’t be able to be a Christian at all.
It is amazing what God will do once He sees that someone has a broken and open heart towards Him. I consider this the true beginning of my active walk with Christ. For the first time, I realized that I didn’t have to do the Christian life on my own – nor was I meant to. I had to live each day in step with His Spirit, as He worked out His power in me.
My life since has been moment after moment of stark contrasts.
I have, time and time again, come to moments of such brokenness and had to lay my broken heart at His feet once again for strength and healing. I still have the tendency to try to live for Him in my own strength. But little by little, He is teaching me to TRUST before I TRY.
In no way do I claim to have “made it”. I am still constantly having to come to the end of myself so that I can come to the beginning of Him. Every day, I have to die to myself again so that I can truly live for Christ. But I think that is the beauty of the amazing grace of God. Not one of us will ever be perfect on this side of life. But each day, if we let Him, God molds and shapes us more and more into the likeness of Christ. As we submit our lives to Him, he shapes us into the women He wants us to be, for His glory.
What I want to leave you with ultimately is this: This story isn’t about me. At least, I am not the focus. It is about the beautiful grace of God, and what it looks like poured into a life. It’s about what happens when God gets a hold of a normal girl and transforms her life for His glory.
Thanks so much for joining me to read my testimony! But the stories of God’s amazing grace don’t end here! Please check out my beautiful, fellow blogger Shannon over at ShannonGeurin.com to read her testimony!