As a Christian wife, it is always my desire to dig deeper into God’s word to know what He wants from me as a wife. After being a child of God, I believe that one of my greatest callings is to be a Godly wife to my husband. One of the roles that God has given me is to be a helpmate for my husband.
When recounting the creation of the first woman, Eve, in Genesis 2:18 – 23, it says “Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Now out of the ground the LORD God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.””
This passage of scripture always makes me feel amazing. Why?
Because the first woman was custom made. God defined her purpose from the beginning of time to be a helpmate for her husband.
Some people find this hard to hear. I find it empowering. Out of all of the perfection that God had created, every plant, every animal, every beautiful thing, there was no helper suitable for the first man, who was the pinnacle of God’s creation. So, he custom designed the first woman for fill this role.
So often, I struggle with knowing my purpose. What should I be doing? What is my purpose?
Genesis chapter 2 points it out so clearly.
As a wife, one of my main roles is to be a helper for my husband.
I mentioned briefly earlier that some women find this hard to hear. How important is the role of helper, really? Doesn’t that make us “less” than men? Am I just to spend my life helping my man?
In Genesis 2:18, as quoted above, God says that he is going to make a helper suitable for Adam. In the original Hebrew, the word that we have translated as “helper” is the word “ezer”. Throughout the Old Testament, this word is used only twenty-one times, and it is used to describe a vital, powerful kind of help. In fact, most of the times that it is used, it is describing God Himself as he helps, rescues and delivers mankind! This isn’t the kind of help that describes washing his laundry and keeping his home tidy. This is life-saving, powerful help!
The word “ezer” in Genesis 2:18 is followed by the word “kenegdo”, which is normally translated “suitable for him”. This powerful, vital helper that God was creating for Adam was designed to be a corresponding and equal partner. Not subservient. Not less than. But equal to him and vital to his well being.
Does this do something in your heart, dear sister?
You were not created to be under or less than your husband. You were made to be a powerful and equal partner to him!
Knowing this is powerful! Personally, it helps me to shift my mindset from feeling like I was created as an afterthought just to serve my man, to knowing that God created me to complete Him!
But how can we move forward and live in the knowledge of this? How can we live it out practically so that we are acting in our purpose and blessing our husbands?
I am a helpmate to my husband when I pray for Him.
If you have been around on this blog for any length of time, you will know that I put a huge emphasis on praying for your husband. I strongly believe that one of the greatest things I can do to help and support my man is to pray for him. Not just quick morning prayers. Not just passing thoughts of thanksgiving for who he is. Fervent, powerful prayers of intercession for our husbands will change our lives, and theirs! Check out this post here to read more about how to start praying for your man this way!
I am a helpmate to my husband by supporting him as we make decisions.
As a wife, one of the greatest times of blessing in our marriage has been when I am able to support my husband as we make decisions. Wait…support him as we make decisions? Yes, that isn’t a typo! My husband and I make every effort to make decisions together. We go before the Lord and ask Him for wisdom and guidance, and then we make a decision. Sometimes, though, Tom and I don’t agree on the final decision. For one reason or another, we have different ideas of what course of action to take. In these moments, although difficult, I have found great blessing in releasing my will and support my husband by submitting to his final decision. No, this isn’t easy. In fact, it can be very hard! But I believe that as I honour God by submitting to my husband, He works out all of the details and blesses us both in the process!
I am a helpmate to my husband by creating and maintaining a peaceful and inviting home environment.
I am not a natural homemaker by any stretch of the imagination. Naturally, I do not desire to keep a clean house or organize daily. It’s just not the way that I am built. But I have realized that I am a blessing and helper to my husband when I make this a priority. Tom and I both work and both take various responsibilities around our home. But as the woman of the house, I make it my duty to love my husband by blessing him with a peaceful and tidy home to live in. Am I perfect at this? FAR FROM. There are many days when laundry is piling high, toys are strewn across the living room, and the kitchen needs cleaning. I am far from perfect. But my heart’s desire is to love my husband by putting time and effort into these tasks so that he can live in a home that warm and inviting.
I am a helpmate to my husband when I meet his needs sexually.
One of the great blessings of marriage is the sexual relationship between husband and wife. This relationship is so intimate and so personal, and is only shared between us! It’s a beautiful thing, but also a responsibility. My husband and I are each other’s only source of sexual satisfaction. He can’t go elsewhere, and neither can I! This blessing also comes with the responsibility of knowing that I need to be available to my husband in this way! Yes, there are days when we are both exhausted with work, raising our 1-year-old and the other day to day responsibilities that come with life. But I am a helpmate to my husband when I make his sexual needs a priority!
I am a helpmate to my husband when I make speaking well of him a priority.
Oh, how I wish more of us would get how much this one matters! One of the ways that I believe we can easily breathe life into our husbands is to speak well of them. My heart hurts every time I hear one of my sisters speaking badly about her husband, either behind his back or in front of him! I have seen first hand the power of speaking well of my man. It lights a fire inside of him to hear that I value and adore him! Wouldn’t it do the same for you?
What I am NOT saying here is to give your husband fake compliments to make him feel good about himself. What I am saying is to take the time to notice all of the wonderful, amazing things about your man. And then TELL HIM! Thank him for taking out the garbage, scraping the snow off of your car in the winter (this is a common one in our house!), or playing with the baby! Tell him how much you value his support, encouragement, or the way he works hard for your family. Speak well of your man to your friends as well! Fight the temptation to vent about all of our frustrations and try to say something positive. I promise that this step alone will make a change in your marriage!
There are so many ways that we can be helpmates to our husbands.
But ultimately, every act of love and service to our husbands is also an act of worship to God, as we live according to the purpose that He gave us?
What about you? I would love to hear about how you practically live as a helpmate for your husband!